While they consider themselves nearly adults, teens still need lots of opportunities for unstructured “down time.” One-on-one “playful” experiences with parents and other caring adults help assure their emotional health and their academic success.
Recently, a focus group of teenagers was asked to create a formula for giving the perfect gift to a teenager. During their hourlong discussion, they essentially ignored the merits of cell phones and iPods. Instead, their conversation focused on how to get parents to give them the gift they want most: a day of one-on-one, agenda-free time.
The completed ”Formula for the Perfect Gift” is an interesting study in what motivates teenagers. The formula includes:
A substantial chunk of parental time + no agenda + exceptional food + a parent’s undivided attention = the perfect Gift
When they were asked to dream up their own versions of the “perfect gift” using their own formula, the teen’s responses were intriguing. One said the perfect gift for him would be an afternoon at a favorite bookstore with his Mom. They would browse sections that were of interest to them both, and he would have a “substantial” budget to use for books that interested him. Then, the two of them would go on a quest to find the perfect French fries.
Another teen said his perfect gift would be a road trip with his Dad. “We wouldn’t even have to pick a destination. It would be great if we could just drive until we found a place to stop that intrigued us.”
“I would have my Mom take me laser tagging. She’s never been laser tagging, so I would put her on my own team, and see how she did. Afterwards, we’d go to the mall together and spend $20 on chocolate.”
“I would have my Dad help me build a kick-butt tree house, and when we were done, we would sleep overnight in it.”
“I’d want to rent snowmobiles and spend the whole day exploring. Maybe it would be fun to go to a restaurant afterward and order the most delicious dessert on the menu.”
Teenagers need time. Lots of it. If you want to build a good relationship with a teen, the key is to create a scheduled time when both of you can do something you enjoy.
What is the most memorable one-on-one experience you ever had with an adult? Your comments would be apprecia
